Sometimes I just need to talk, to anyone actually to convert all those unnecessary thoughts in my head into airwaves and into words. However, majority of the time, I am just fine being alone. Like yesterday, while on the way home from Bugis on bus 100 and 103. Somehow the journey home felt like the best bus ride I ever had.

The bus was packed, I squeezed into a tiny corner on the bus. At Golden Mile Centre, a whole village of foreign workers got on. I probably never been on a more crowded bus, even when everyone is almost kissing each other, the bus uncle caption still let passengers board every stop. But it was nice, I don’t know, I had my ipod on and just looked out the window at my tiny corner. I had thoughts and worries popping up here and there on my mind but mostly, my mind was blank. And I watched people walking home on the streets from the moving bus window, then I think about what everyone does when they reach home.

Maybe one of those ‘thinkful’ night it was.

*

Justin, Andrew and I was walking towards Bugis Junction, Justin was on phone. As we walked pass there was an old woman, she looks kind of weird with huge specs, big shirt tucked in her tights at the waist. We didn’t pay much attention to her. As we walked past her, Justin said “informal” to the person on the phone. And the old woman suddenly shouted “Informal, informal…fuck your mother chicken!” HAHA, what the hell, I think she is crazy man, or she thought Justin was laughing at her but mostly, I strongly believe she is nuts. Well, it didn’t end there. This is a conversation that went on while we were walking further and further away from her:

Andrew: What fuck your mother chicken?
W: Fuck your mother chicken!
Andrew: What fuck your mother chicken?
W: Fuck your mother chicken lah!
Andrew: But my mother is not a chicken.
W: Your mother is a chicken.
Andrew: Why is my mother a chicken?
W: Chicken is prostitute lah (chicken in Chinese can mean prostitute yes), your mother is a prostitute.
Andrew: But why?
W: Fuck you mother chicken…bastard..fuck..chicken..

It’s was damn funny! We were laughing all the way ah, it could have gone on forever if we didn’t walk away.

*

I am hired. Yes, I have a full-time job now as a graphic designer. It’s a long story.

See I wasn’t looking for a job till July when I am back from HK, I was planning of getting internships at magazine and book publication companies because I like publication. I wanted to even start looking in HK first. Ok I wrote about this in my previous entry already I just realised but anyway, I feel I am still young and I won’t wanna be caught in the whole get a job and be stuck kinda thing..I mean at least not just yet.

So yes, I will be on 3 months prohibition before I finally decided whether I wanna stay and whether I am officially hired. After much consideration, I decided to give it a shot, I suppose there’s no harm gaining from experience and see whether this is for me. Well the pay is pretty good too, the work place seem fun..everyone’s young there.

This also means I got to leave Starbucks :( It’s probably the hardest thing for me. I love everyone there, they have been a part of my life since June 06. And I love making coffee, I like making frappucino, I like washing the dishes and everything else, I LOVE CDR! Haha! But like Don reminding me almost daily, nothing last forever so yeah, I suppose it’s just sooner or later.

I am leaving mid April and unofficially starting my full-time job next week because the new project I will be part of is starting next week.

It suddenly hit me I will be called a graphic designer, shit it doesn’t sound nice. Wei called me a sellout. It also suddenly hit me the list I made before FYP ended can’t be completed, all the stupid things like cloud watching and going Bukit Timah Hill is not happening anymore. This job wasn’t the ideal situation/job/plans/future in my head..but what in life goes the way you want right?

Went to Seletar Camp with Wei and JJ the other night to take some photos. Been a while since I touched my SLR. Well at least I got one item strike off. And I got to hit Zouk for probably the last few times.

I am home, I haven’t really been at home much. I was suppose to work but my shift got cancelled. I can’t go anywhere anyway, I am living off my piggy bank of coins, that’s how broke I am. I wanted to go down to the fish farm to get my Puffy fish some friends but I am broke as mentioned.

I decided to stay at home and watch movies today.

Let’s talk about a film I watched the other day. It’s called ‘Secret Sunshine’. We decided to feel more arty so we watched that, it’s a film at The Picturehouse. It’s a Korean film and we had absolutely no idea what it was about. We came out of the cinema - STONED. I was quite speechless really. I think you should go in the cinema and have absolutely no idea what to expect so you will come out as speechless as me. The film was impactful, the content was heavy stuff. I would say it is one of those film that is not meant to entertain you (I mean if you come out overjoy that’s fine which I can assure you you won’t) but instead to challenge you and to make you get out of a comfort zone. It’s been 4 days since I saw it, I still have everything clear in my head.

I will be nice and not go on about it, it’s good film really. It won many awards, the lead actress got Best Actress at the Cannes Festival. She’s really good man, power…

And I watched ‘Shopgirl’ just now, recorded it a long time ago. It’s not too bad, was expecting chick flick kind of film but not really. I would say the characters are not very well developed somehow. It’s about a girl falling in love with two different men, one old and rich and another young and aimless dude.

Then I watched ‘Closer’. I was watching the one I recorded on Channel 5 till I got so annoyed they cut off so many of the scene till their conversation don’t flow at all so I went to watch it online. They probably cut off like 1/4 or more of the film. It was M18 in the cinemas.  I love the movie, very powerful characters. It’s based on a play actually. You know one of those films you don’t exactly get it till the end then you go “ooohh”. Yeah, one of those. It’s a movie about love, lust, truth and trust I would say.

I am loading two other movies now. Woohoo.

And the very important, I was called up for an interview.

It’s a long story but basically, I was kind conned into it. See, I was called up while I was half asleep when I agreed to it, I thought my school called me.

And then I went for the interview, had a long chat with the very young boss and today he called me up saying he wanna hire me. Now it’s up to me.

See, I wasn’t looking for a job just yet, I was thinking of coming back in June/July after my HK/China trip then I will get a job or internships. I guess I am not prepared for a real job and haven’t planned a lot of things. You know..it’s just so fast and I have a lot of things to think about like commitments and preparing for a whole new lifestyle etc. One of those things that when you got everything planned out in your head and something happened and you got to replan it. Something like those lists I make each time before I head down to the print shops to print my work.

I always fear the future, and especially the transition from student to working adult. May I highlight adult, cos I don’t look like one and feel like one. In my head I feel I am not really for this, I am not prepared to sleep early and work 5 or 6 days a week. I know, I may sound like a brag or childish but there’s just so much in my head..like I can’t bare to part with a lot of things like Starbucks and not wanting to become a robot and I could go on man.

I guess maybe just one thing to sum it all up: I am afraid of changes. I have to admit I am a sucker for routines. Not that I don’t wanna try new things but it’s definitely going take me a while to think about the change.

I am going to shut up and enjoy the probably the last few weeks or even days of my freedom if I accept the job offer. I can’t type too much here too, you know internet aren’t safe.

I have been tired, too much I wanna blog but too tired lately to type them out.

I watched a good and good beyond awesome movie the other day called “Secret Sunshine”. I will write about it tomorrow, I am sleepy now. I think a good movie is one that will make you probably speechless by the end of it and everything in it still stays clear in your head for days. I think this is one of them, or probably because the contents of the movie is heavy.

So many things I need to write down before it slips from my mind, I mean you know, how small my brain is.

I was called up for an interview, that is one of them.

My computer is mad loaded with virus. The anti-virus software goes off for a whole 5 minute when I start the computer to tell me all the Trojans I have in my com.

You would think morning shifts is a better use of my time, wake up early, end early and then do your own thing? NOOOOO, the past 3 days has been my grumpiest 3 days ever. After shift, I would go home and sleep and nap then can’t go back to sleep, then I get 3 hours of sleep and then wake up for work. It felt like I never woke up for 3 days.

I am so extremely grumpy when I get home, my parents have to take all my shits.

I am finally getting some decent sleep tonight, I am working at 1pm tomorrow. It’s fun going back to work (except the grumpy part obviously), I really like it..I think FYP really killed all my brain cells or gave me a secret brainwash, anywhere without Illustrator or Photoshop is good.

I might be getting a kitten! It’s Jaq’s friend, she send me a photo, it’s super cute! The little kitten needs a new home. I really want it but my parents don’t like it. They didn’t exact say no but I know my mother hate cats. I was suppose to talk to them about it but I doze off once I got home.

I had so much I wanted to blog about but I forgot what I wanted to write, you see, I am still in daze.

Anyway go watch this!

It’s damn funny! Go watch the other missions too, it’s damn cool man, especially the one in Grand Central Station! And I just found they did a mission in Singapore too! They got a bunch of people to sleep at the Ngee Ann City Fountain and then wake up when an alarm sounds. But that wouldn’t be funny here, I bet Singaporeans would just think they are queuing up for some freebies or sales or they just don’t give a shit.

And lastly, Justice new video is awesoooooome, and Xavier is very cute (they one playing the piano).

I obviously did not come out with this very beautiful template over here. I really haven’t been in the mood to get the new one out so, I suppose this is staying for a while. But it’s nice isn’t it? All orange and happy.

Have you ever got one of those feeling, like your head’s not right, you feel antsy, and then those ants crawled into your head/brain and started an ant army fire-mummy-power dance? You are in a daze, your eyeballs don’t exactly move and you feel nauseous?

(I was contemplating which sounds right: “have you ever have one of those feelings..” or “have you ever felt one of those feelings…” so I settled with the above which doesn’t exactly sound right either.)

That’s what I am feeling now.

I think it is the lack or too much sleep. Waking up early really screws up my brain, usually it dies for a few days before it pops (literally) back to life. I am doing morning shifts this week, good luck to me. Work has been fun, I am grumpy in the morning but after singing “I am a giant starfish!!” I will be alright, and when Rose sings my “Sally goes round the sky” song, I will be fine as well.

I had a weird dreams the other day, it was kind of freaky..I mean at least when I was dreaming it:

My family and I moved back to Hong Kong for good. And we live in this house that is really rectangular and along the walls, is made up of mirrors. It was the house we used to stay before we left. My sister claims whenever she sits on this couch in the living room, there will be this lady standing in the mirror in front of her. We didn’t believe her obviously. She says she still sees it now. So I decided to sit on the couch and stare at the mirror, there was nothing, then eventually, I made out a human-shaped figure in the mirror with a white flowy dress and long hair with bangs.

I freaked out obvious and think my eyes are playing tricks on me. I asked my parents to come see for themselves. So we all sat down and stared. The ghost was completely still like a picture and all of us saw it, then suddenly she looked up and walked into my room behind her. OMG man, I freaked out.

I can’t remember the rest. It was damn freaky in my dreams, it was night time with orange lights in the house.

One thing that really annoys me is the advertisement on Channel 5. The one with the Andrea woman (the ‘Deal or No Deal’ girl) sitting on a chair, in the middle of a fountain and just posing there with her legs stretched out and chins in her hands and camera moving from left to right. It is the one advertising for ‘fashion month’ for march? It annoys the hell out of me because it is one of those advertising that is seriously pointless and crappy. Because all it does is to have a pretty girl and then end of advertisement. True, you need beautiful people in advertisement to sell but that advertisement sells nothing except to tell you Andrea is pretty and have long legs and can balance herself on a chair and that mixed blood people are prettier than you.

Yes, it is just one of those things in life that ticks me off: shit advertising that drives a wrong message into someone’s head.

Now that everyone’s done with school, while I am kind of slacking away, everyone seem to be already looking for a job and some already found one. It got me panicking in my pants for a bit. First, I don’t have a portfolio ready, second, my work really sucks and thirdly, I am not ready for a working life yet.

Big unhappy face.

I am off to plan plans. I decided I need to do it today so I can place my head back on my body tomorrow morning. And btw, I need another job, I need money unlesssss YZ is giving me MORE and LONGER shifts. I want some freelance jobs.

I am back from Zouk for Miss Kitten. I actually reached home by 3am! I was too sleepy, I don’t know why..like really, really sleepy. I yawned till I tear. She is really good though, a bit of trance, electro, house and techno. I wished I had more energy to stay on. OR, maybe because I was without my new house budddieeesssxxzzzz. OR maybe the lack of booze, but it’s all good, I am good without the drinks.

I was just thinking sometimes it’s sad a night of clubbing with your friends is labelled ‘unfun’ because of the lack of booze. It’s true, when everyone’s high and drunk, everything is happy and fun. But what about your friend’s company and the music? I don’t know..I just wish there are/were more nights are fun because the music is good.

Today was the tearing down of the Dip show. I arrived late, the rest tore down my stuff for me by the time I reach there. Yeah so it’s officially over. FYP is over for me, I am left with the results. I won’t step into school till May I guess.

I am damn, damn hungry, I finished all the maggie mee already.

I am home on a Friday night, not very much anticipated but I did get my much needed sleep. Ok, not exactly much need cos it’s only two days but me is me, my energy level is extremely limited. I slept on both bus home, came home and slept for an hour, ate dinner and slept for another 1 and half hours, woot. I still hate sleeping though.

My ‘The Little Prince’ notebook arrived yesterday! :) It’s wasn’t as big and didn’t come with all those fancy pansy stationeries as I thought but nevertheless, damn pretty! It’s too nice to be used man, all 500 over pages have a different illustrations.

I watched two movies this week, ‘10 000 BC’ and ‘Horton (Hears a Who!)’.

I was forced into watching 10 000 BC cos you know, those fighting and running is too stressful for me. It wasn’t as bad though, quite lame at certain parts but the visual effects are pretty good. And the lead girl is hot.

I watched ‘Horton (Hears a Who!)’ yesterday. It’s about an elephant who is amazingly cute rescuing a micro-mini town called Whoville. Now you see why I like elephants. All characters are so fluffy you want them as Facebook’s Fluff Friends (ok not really, just hug them) .  It is as good as a Pixar film!

I am off to play some games and munch some food.

Plans, plans, plans. I need to start planning plans. 

I have been in school the past two days for the Diploma Show. It’s kinda saddening to be there actually. While everyone stands at their booth, proud of their work and giving out namecards and doing some social networking, I stand faraway from my booth. I found buddies though, Kim and Justin.

I don’t know, this was exactly what I was thinking about when I nearly gave up on FYP: I don’t wanna be at the Dip. Show and refuse to stand next to my own work. Almost everyone printed namecards and exchanged them, I did nothing. Maybe you can call everyone kaisu, but everyone does it so..maybe I am the one losing out. When I see people looking at my work, I just stone there and refuse to present my work..I don’t know, just wasn’t in the mood like everyone else. It’s gonna be over on Sat so I will bare with it.

I am working at 8am tomorrow and I got to wake up at 6am. I have been waking up at 3pm everyday so if you so happen to be reading this at 6am, please don’t be shy and give me a call, you don’t want me missing my work.

I need a plan, all this lazing around isn’t doing me good. There must be a plan. I hate the weather, it pours everyday.