I am sleepy now but I want to draw.

Nothing really happened today. Went to school to practise our lightening then went to the Bedok Library. It sucks cos they don’t have any books and the library is damn messy.

My sister bought Meiji sweets and chocolates for me.

[edit]
HI. Ok I just realised I didn’t post this entry I typed yesterday cos I hit the ’save’ button instead of ‘publish’. So I will just combine both days of entries together.

So today, went to school early for consultation with Lee Ching. Then I borrowed the equipments for Product Photography. Shooting today was fun..we started on our actual shooting in the studio. With all the huge cameras, lights, backdrop all, we look damn pro man. Haha.

Ha..we managed to bribe Ivan the equipment man to do something for us! Oh damn gross, Justin ate this coconut quek (how you spell that?) thing with a HUGE cockroach inside. Damn fucking gross man. It was HUGE. The leg pierced his gum that how he found out that was a cockroach. Don’t buy any food stuff from the drink stall in Design school. The drinks there already suck so just get can drinks.

Nothing much happened today. Went to eat after that with Kim then I went home.

Maybe the only interesting thing about today is that it rained while I was on the bus and the man beside me was deep in his sleep that when I need to alight, the man beside him needs to tap on his lap so I could get out.

Yeah, that’s interesting.

And go listen to Muse’s verison of Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You, damn sexy.
[/edit]

So today was the offical start of my block 3. For this block (this month) I will taking Product and Advertising Photography and VSC Project 2. Product Photography seems really fun..but it cost a bomb. The negatives are like $20 plus for 10 pieces, developing: $3.50 per piece - student price. Per piece..not like a roll or something. Damn..I think all my plans to shop are gone.

For Product Photography, you can’t do it alone cos the equipments are huge so you have to work in a group. Me and Kim were smart, we secured our marks by grouping with Justin. He is the genius. Stefanie and Denise and Justin are the best photographers in class so we quickly stuck ourselves with one of them.

P2 is alright..it is more for building our portfolio for SIP (industrial attachment). I really wanna go OSIP (overseas attachment) but it seem pretty impossible cos now, they allow those who has worked with CDI to apply. Ok, long story..in summary, they are picky about OSIP and you need lots of experience. I have nothing in my portfolio man..except lousy work. For my P2 class, I got all the superrrrr hardworking superrrrr talented students ALL in my class..like all top students. Boo, definately low-morale all the way man.

I get so annoyed and irritated when I talk to my parents about school. Like when I told my dad about my Product Photography and how much it cost..he said just buy a few to play around with. When I tell my mum about school work and stuff, she doubt my ability to find a job next time. ARGH..I hate their attitude. They don’t take what I study seriously and they don’t see design as something serious. I don’t know how to explain it but they just annoy the fuck out of me.

I think I am lousy enough so when they say all this shit, it just makes me feel shittier.

I know my blog is boring so I will put some pics here today. Haven’t been using my digi cam..no chance to use it or just nothing exciting to take.

I bought 2 bags from school! They are really nice..a clutch and a bag. It’s $40 for both. I decided to get them..I need to pamper myself before I start saving all over again.I bought a new mascara toooo. It’s makes my lashes niceee and long. Ok, it’s like invisible compared to all you Americans or Indians but it is good enough for me unless I get a lash transplant.

I really, really, really need to do my CDS presentation and research. ARGGGH, it is due next week and I still need to consult Lee Ching. I hate Uculture..it’s so hard. I just can’t seem to push myself to get to work.I am sad, I realised I don’t use much of exclaimation marks anymore anywhere cos nothing in life seem to excites me anymore. Boo. Ok I am boring, bye.

You learn something new everyday by talking to Audrey the muffin.
if i was a xiao long bao, i’d eat myself. says:
shit i cant find liquid paper in this house
Fruit basket says:
just mix water and flour
if i was a xiao long bao, i’d eat myself. says:
oh serious?
if i was a xiao long bao, i’d eat myself. says:
but wont it be like icky?
if i was a xiao long bao, i’d eat myself. says:
n hard to apply also
Fruit basket says:
you can try
if i was a xiao long bao, i’d eat myself. says:
lazy ah
if i was a xiao long bao, i’d eat myself. says:
cos i spelt model as modle, but it’s on my notes, so it’s ok la
Fruit basket says:
you are not serious about the flour n water right>
if i was a xiao long bao, i’d eat myself. says:
tt one really can make liquid paper is it?
if i was a xiao long bao, i’d eat myself. says:
but even if can, i’m quite lazy to go n make it now
Fruit basket says:
waolao..ahahahahaha wat the hell. NO.
if i was a xiao long bao, i’d eat myself. says:
oh for a minute i thot really can sia
if i was a xiao long bao, i’d eat myself. says:
i think my IQ points are falling all over the place like dandruff

I never had a light above my head for a very long time. I mean literally. It wasn’t fixed until today.

My Apparel Fundamental has finally ended, that means one month has passed and two months have passed since I joined Starbucks. The pass month has been crazy, especially the last two week..with all the final assignments and work. And I think most importantly, I don’t eat. I eat one meal in two days. I don’t know..I am just sad and lost all my appetite and energy to eat. I am sad and insane. I can’t push myself to do anything.

I am crazzzzzzy.

I want to go into a coma. I tried to make a deal with God but I woke up the next day still having to go to work. I need a year’s rest but I am not ready to die yet so I won’t kill myself anytime soon.

I slept from 6.30pm on Sat till 6am today. I bathe..till slept all the way till 11.30am. Then I slept for another 2 hours later. I am that tired. I am suppose to do opening today..but I was too tired to go so I called in sick. My manager wants an MC from me..which obviously I didn’t get. I think he will hate me but I don’t care..I don’t like him all that much. No one really likes that manager too so yea.

I have work to do for tomorrow, I haven’t even started.

I wanna watch these movies: The Lake House, The Devil Wears Prada, Thank You For Smoking and C.R.A.Z.Y.

It’s just hard..hard to pull myself together, hard to think right, hard to be inspired..tough.

I have nothing else to say. So I will leave everyone with a funny joke/comment/conv with Audrey:
Fruit basket says:
i wan my polar bear. i wan fishes to feed it
AUDREY says:
polar bear cannot eat. panda is better. i say hello to it, then i eat it.

So I had 2 days of MC. I didn’t go school. I missed my CDS on Monday..lots to catch up. Today, I missed my Apparel Fun. class. Well, it didn’t really matter I go or not cos I didn’t have anything to consult.

I had lots of time to do my work over the weekends for consultation today but I was soooo soooooo extremely tired. Maybe it’s the medicine that makes me drowsy. I have to sleep. I can’t sleep well too cos I kept perspiring when I sleep so I keep waking up
So basically all I wanted to say is that I didn’t do any over work over the weekend cos I was too tired.

My Apparel Fun. deadline is on Thursday and I haven’t even consulted Wilson at all, it’s really hardworking of me. I can’t wait to finish my Apparel Fun., I have enough of cutting magazines of fashion stuff. It’s alright I guess if you have alot of magazines, you can read and cut at the same time but I only have like 3 pathetic fashion mags so I have read everything in it already.

One block is almost down..that’s fast. I didn’t even feel like a month has passed since the hols, maybe that’s cos I don’t go to class much?

Today was considered a fruitful day. I did my Apparel Fun. work. I drew 12 outfits, and redid my journal.

I just bought the Ribena sweet from downstairs. There’s only 5 in pack, that’s sad.

I think I am losing my uncommenting readers (yes, people read my blog but noooooo one comments). I have been so tired and lazy to update. I think fatigue is the word. For the past two weeks or so, I have been sleeping waaaaay early in morning (4am?) if not not sleeping at all doing my assignments for Apparel Fundamentals. I have been working..so just add on to the tiredness. I am sick, first was sore throat, husky voice, sexy voice..and now absolute no voice. I still had reaaaaally sexy husky voice just now before eating the blueberry bagel at work.

I think not eating is not helping with getting healthy too. Argh..I just don’t crave for food at all, a Caramel Frap or Hello Panda was all I had everyday cos I am too tired or not even feeling hungry. My mother said I felt sick cos I have been eating too much of outside food..I wanted to correct her..I don’t even eat but I think she will kill me.

It is tough working and being in design school, that’s why I quit Starbucks when I was in year 1. I am giving it a shot again..trying to juggle with school and work and hopefully I can manage my time well and force myself to do my assignments since I got no time to waste but I think my plan backfired. Instead, I missed lessons and handed in my assignments late. This is bad..I never want to compromise on my studies because of work. I can afford to miss lessons this month cos it is Apparel Fun., not my diploma subject. I am going to work less next month.

I like my work place, I like the people.

I have been feeling lousy recently. Ok, I think I always feel lousy but just at times I am more sensitive to everyone’s comments. I don’t think I am tough even you know..like every little thing breaks me down a litte. I think I reach a point that I don’t care and do whatever I want. But I still haven’t explode..I don’t want to, I don’t know what will become of me, I am already a lousy person now.

I watched Pirates of Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl the other day. It was really good, as good as the first one. There is definately a 3rd movie cos the ending just end abruptly. Is that the word? I just hate the part they twist Elizabeth and Will’s relationship. Damn..they should just concentrate on the action, I hate all these stupid relationship thingy that gets in the way. David Jones is scary. The movie was really long too. I got a question, but don’t read cos it’s spoiler.

I don’t get the Will’s father part, how did he become David Jones’ crew?

I just packed my room yesterday. I realised I tend to pack my room before starting on my final assignments for my subjects cos I just can’t stand working in a dirty and messy place.

My entry is boring. I should have told you earlier so you would stop reading but too bad.

[edit]
Damn..just as I am all prepared to design 12 outfit for my Apparel Fun., I have fever and a headach..now I can’t work. My mother wants me to see a doc tomorrow. If only I had MC for last Fri’s assignment..I shouldn’t miss lessons for the next 2 days cos it’s important lecture and consultation. Yes, all at the wrong time.
[/edit]

I wanted to post photos of mum’s birthday, my phone and my nano but my dad deleted the photos off my cam so..no pictures.

Remember I once post a photo of the fake paper nano that looks so real? Haha, NOW I got the REAL version of that..just no Satana’s Just Feel Better. Damn..haha, Audrey will know why.

I am falling sick..I can feel it. Yes, for real this time. I took MC last Friday cos I couldn’t finish my work. It was quite funny, the doctor knew I was faking it..like I didn’t need any pain killers and I look alright. Anyway, I didn’t sleep last night cos I was doing my Apparel Fun. work. It was quite a tedious assignment. It wasn’t hard at all, how can Apparel Fun. be hard? It was just time-consuming. I handed up my work today and Wilson said I am considered a day late. Boo.

So yeah, I didn’t sleep last night and in the middle of the night, I got a sore throat. Now I am feeling all body ach, tired..you know? I hate being sick..all your time is screwed up.

I wanted to download “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?” just now, guess what were the search results?

1. (EXTREME VIOLENCE) Husband gets blowjob by holding her neck down
2. whore gets it
3. crazy forced sex (lots of maoning)
4. helpless blindfolded slut punished by lusty warden

HAHAHA, there are lots more sick shit. It’s damn funny. I don’t get it..I won’t never want to get addicted to porn, it’s sick shit and you have no life. All you do is sit in front of the com and catch your dropping eyeballs. ANYWAY, “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?” is a good show. It’s hard to get it though, it is on tape.

Met up with Dev today. It was fun..we talked alot, we had alot of interesting conversations. Jean left today.

Ok I need to go do my Apparel Fun. journal thing. I hate it. Oh, my uncle and his whole family is coming over in August for a week or some. Real bad time..I will be busy with my P2 and Product photography. BOO, I won’t be able to go to the zoooooo.

My head hurts, my mind is not thinking right or not thinking or think to much or is sleeping.

I haven’t been updating consistently. I used to have too much to blog but nowadays I am just too tired to blog. Or maybe it’s cos I got too much things on my mind and I am lazy to write them down and then I get so angry I forgotten to blog them..blah..yea, you get it.

Anyway, I decided to just get an ipod. I have no money for the MacBook.

I had a deep conversation with Audrey Benedict the other day. We hang out and stuff but we don’t really talk deep you know. I haven’t seen her for a while and her mother gave me a kiss on the cheek today. OOOOOOOOH, Audrey, are you jealous???!

Basically, because of work, I have been missing alot of lessons, since now that attendance in design school is not compulsory. But lecturers just take for their own reference. My lecturer took me out for a talk the other day. I saw my attendance, I realised I was coming on alternate days.

“Sally, I noticed a trend in your attendance.”
“Oh cos I am working so sometimes I am too tired to turn up for class.”
“Oh..you are working cos you need the money for yourself?”
“Yeah..sort of.”
“Well, the school actually has a pool of money for students like you with financial needs..”

Haha, it was quite funny. I assured him my attendance will be regular next week onwards..let’s hope so.

I was so irritated with myself the other day. I didn’t go to work the day before my assignment was due to complete it. In the end, I didn’t completely it..I was tired, took lots of naps and blah. I had to go all the way to Sengkang interchange to see a doc for MC cos I overslept again and the clinic downstairs my house is closed for lunch. Then, I went for work. I ran down to Taka to look for Claudine for her Apple card so I could get my ipod but it turned out she wasn’t working and blaaaaaaaaaaah I had PMS too and the stupid new full-timer fucking pissed me off. Oh, and my new hair cut sucks cos my mum cut it wrongly. I want my loooooooooong hair back so badly now. AND not forgotting I was late for work. AND AND, I left my Lotte chocolate pies which cost $2.80 at work. I bet it’s all gone now.

Basically, it was a bad day. You know how sometimes you do things/ didn’t do things and it turned out shit and you just want to fuck yourself upside down cos you screwed up your time and money and day and everything else?

I am always irritated with myself..and I get sick of myself easily.

My mum’s birthday today. Me and Sis got her a cake and flowers. I got the flowers from Sunshine Plaza. The flowers are really nice..some Holland flowers. I would completely have forgotten it was her birthday today if not for her church pastor..who called in this morning wanting to wish her happy birthday but she wasn’t around.

I don’t actually remember my parents’ birthday..I don’t know how old are they. Am I a lousy daughter? My dad said I am so fine..I am.

Working opening tomorrow..boo, I hate waking up early.

My neighbour just found our mini lobster in her house. Yes, my daddy just bought 4 mini lobsters for our fish tank and apparently one escaped and almost managed to find its way to freedom. OH and one is missing already, it is probably rotting under my bed or swimming in my toilet bowl now. Remember I posted before that once while my sister was doing her business, something was walking in front of her and it turns out to be our mini prawns in our fish tank?

I therefore conclude: lobsters and prawns have powerful slim stick legs and never keep them in tanks. Well, at least your tank should be a metre highor something.

Claudine bet with everyone the Germany and Argentina match. HA, I won and she owns me a HUGE tube of Meiji Choco Baby.

I just got a mail with the envolope titled “On Government Service”. Well, obviously it’s from my dear PAP. Well it turned our to be my beloved Tanglin Police Station. It says:

“After careful considerations of the facts and circumstances of the case and in consultation with the Attorney-General’s Chambers, the Police decided not to take further action against you.”

The case happened a year ago. In case you don’t remember or don’t know, I was locked up at at police station (ok, I didn’t manage to get into a cell cos they ran out of space, damn) because my friends shoplifted, I am innocent. If I were a dying man, I would never get my name cleared man..they work like a 10000 year old turtle. I will die and haunt them.

I am still considering whether to get a Mac. I really want it but then again, do I really need it that much? I have a laptop now but I don’t like it cos it’s toooo heavy and you know…Mac is cooler and nicer and stuff. I only use my laptop (for now) on Mondays cos I am lazy to write notes for my Uculture lecture and I only use it at home cos I prefer to type on laptops then on desktop keyboards (ha!). I know I really want it and I can save for it but is it worth it?

Damn..I think I might just get an Ipod that’s all. If only I were a rich dude..I would buy without thinking twice, forget the discount, I would get everyone on the street a Mac.

Someone please advice me what to do.

Love,
Confused 1988
(read those damn teen mags with the advice/ Q&A column?)